His hands are on my body, stroking my legs. Who else can it be? Then i hear him nudging me with his voice ” I need you”. This can’t be happening. I ‘m in stage 100 REM sleep. I am so deep in my sleep, i don’t even remember what my name is. “Pls dear, tomorrow”, i reply. He goes on, tries harder to seduce me to the present. Sh*t! I’m actually waking. I’m pissed. Really pissed. I ramble something mean. I then grab my pillow and face the wall. Sleep….sweet sleep….
Already having a bad day. A shabby good morning from hubby started it off and then like domino pieces, it had all started to crumble. Can’t say why but it’s definitely can’t be because of my actions or lack of it at 2am? No help with school runs. My phone in which my work was stored crashed. Deadline for submission for that work- 4pm this day. Okada man yelled at me. And now, the clouds are gathering. Is it going to rain particularly this day when i’m wearing my white lace dress?
So it did not rain. #smile. And i met my 4pm deadline. But Something isn’t right. Something’s been pinching the terminal part of my jejunum sick. i know it’s giult. It’s been biulding up all day. Guilt about my 2am runs. I know i said something awful. Something enough to make sure he stopped disturbing my sleep at once. Something effective. What did i say? I mentioned how he and his kids are a lot to handle and even though i know i said more, i honestly cannot remember the rest. What have i come to? I used to love it. I loved it even more when i was surprised in my sleep by it. I remember how i liked being shaken into reality by pleasure. I used to be the psycho and now it doesn’t even cross my mind?
Done with the day’s work and i hear one of my dear “uncles” is close by. I have an innocent 2 month old angel waiting for me at home but this uncle was there for my peeps recently at an important time so it made sense to drop by and say a quick hi. Uncle huuugggssssssss me and i’m a bit terrified. Then he tells me of how much he needs me. Nawa oo! These needs are universal. Lol. Not that it’s the first time Uncle has propositioned me. Even though i’m married. Fortunately for me and unfortunate for the likes of Uncle, i had turned a saint after marrying Le boo. So, it wasn’t gonna work. If i needed sex, i’d go to my husband. But i’m not mad at uncle. I’m mad at myself for not anticipating this and for wasting precious time needed to be with my little Miss Sunshine. I leave Uncle politely. He is a good guy but i won’t be seeing him in a long time.
The kids are asleep. I had breastfed, done laundry,assisted with assignments, did chores, massaged grandma’s body, put logistics in place for tomorrow. I’m a bit tired. i know Little pretty is still going to wake me at night to be fed. Damn! How do people with three kids cope? I guess they cope just fine. Thank God i have grandma. But He. He is still sitting there.
I love him deeply and everyone else can tell how he loves me more. But i haven’t been wanting it as much as he’s been wanting me lately. Is it because i am now busier than ever? Shoot me if i blame it on the pregnancy and giving birth because i know how i was still at my A- game during and after my first pregnancy. i want to put his needs first like he has always tried to for me. He’s worthy. Besides, it’s awabetter for me that he doesn’t shoot elsewhere. I like to think he wouldn’t tho. This is about managing my home. I’ll be superwoman. Like my mom and grandmom.
He is watching the day’s news on tv. Bad timing for apologies. I need his totally undivided attention but if i hit the bed, i’ll be off till the morning. So, i have to do this now. I turn on all of my sexiness and make sure i am the one who gets the attention.
” D, i need to show you something”. He looks at me with fake aloofness.
“I’m serious, you need to see this.” I hold his hands and then lead him to the bedroom.
It all ends there. We’ll have a proper talk tomorrow morning.